Top 5 Women Men Love That Women Totally Don’t Get

Now, when I say they don’t get it, I don’t mean they don’t understand why guys are attracted to these women with enormous boobs – they pretty much have that part figured out. But these are women who seem so vapid and horrible that it is really hard to figure out how their boobs can make up for their lack of personality and/or brain power.

1. Scarlett Johansson. Okay, okay, the boobs – we get it. But we don’t get how anyone could ever say she is anything more than a blow-up doll. Girl can’t act to save her life. Every single movie she has ever been in she plays the exact same character – the girl who doesn’t realize men think she’s hot except all she does is try to seduce every man on the screen by pouting and sticking her boobs farther out. She should have stuck with modeling.

2. Megan Fox. Another one that is like “I’m not aware that men find me so attractive oh hey look at my tits in this dress!” Her whole schtick about having experimented with other women is so over-played. Every time she opens her mouth to speak she ends up making an ass out of herself. But of course, because men love her ass so much, she just keeps right on talking.

3. Jenny McCarthy. Back when she was on Singled Out (God I’m old) I just could not for the life of me figure out why guys thought this chick was so hot. As she became more famous, I realized it was because in every single picture ever taken of her she has her mouth wide open. Very subtle, Jenny. Now she is blaming autism on vaccines and dudes still want to bang her. It’s amazing how far a little innuendo can take you.

4. Christina Aguilera. I am not denying that girl can sang, but no matter how they try, they just can’t fix her face. She has never not looked like a tranny. She has been Retro Tranny, Corn-rowed Tranny, Brunette Tranny—every kind of tranny you can think of. But what I hear around the schoolyard is that she looks like she would gag on it, so she remains popular with the dudes.

5. Kim Kardashian. Kim looks like someone stuck a bicycle pump in Eva Longoria and went to town. She literally looks like if you pricked her she would deflate. Okay, changing descriptions…..she looks swollen and old and like the only thing keeping her animated is a giant helium tank.