10 iPhone Apps That Could Get You Fired

The economy’s not so great right now, and getting a new job could be tricky — especially if you got canned for bad behavior in your last gig. So as tempting as it is to play around with that sweet iPhone you got when finances were peachy, it’s probably best to put it away. But if you must, here are 10 apps that should definitely be avoided in the workplace.

iVoodoo

When you need to settle a score, this app is certainly less risky to job security, but creepier than physically assaulting a co-worker. After slapping a photo on the voodoo doll’s face, users can wield seven different kinds of pins— affecting wealth, power, success and more — and hex up to five people at a time. I love how “looks and feels like a standard application” is a selling point on OEFun’s Web site. Because it’s actually causing years of pain and misery. [Store Link]

Annoying Sounds

There’s nothing clever or funny about a soundboard that includes a dial tone, a buzzing mosquito, fingernails on a chalkboard and a screaming baby. It’s just obnoxious. We’ll take the air horn noise once in a while, but that’s it. Definitely don’t play more than one sound at once, even though you can. [Store Link]

Vibrating Massager

It’s meant to massage muscles, but some intrepid users have found naughtier applications. This isn’t just pervy speculation; check out Vibrating Massager’s comments section in the App Store, and you’ll see an abundance of testimony to the app’s pleasurable appeal. Just, don’t try it at work. It’ll make for great water cooler conversation, but you won’t be around to enjoy it. [Store Link]

Whoopee Cushion

This gag is worth attempting on your buddy in the next cubicle, but only if your boss isn’t passing by. Sneaking into your superior’s office and planting the prank probably isn’t a good idea either, even though you’d become a martyr for it. Stick with iFart and keep it to yourself. [Store Link]

Lightsaber Unleashed

It’s cool to show co-workers your geeky side, as long it doesn’t entail swinging an iPhone around to make Lightsaber noises and pretending to assault Janice in accounting. Trust me, she doesn’t get it. The upswing? You could be the next YouTube star. [Store Link]

Hold On!

Nothing kills productivity like doing nothing, and that’s the point of Hold On! The app requires players to hold down a button for as long as they can. IMAK Creations says this game, of sorts, will develop perseverance and improve concentration, but try telling that to your boss when you’re spotted leaning on your iPhone all day. [Store Link]

iBeer

The iBeer app is a virtual beer glass that sloshes around as you move the phone. It’s perfect for playing bartender and practicing the countertop slide, but not in the sober climes of the office. Get caught, and your brazen show of affection for alcohol could either get you fired or force a staged dialogue about addiction and your willingness to recover. [Store Link]

Prank Box

Want to piss off your co-workers? Go cubicle-hopping with iPhone in hand, pretending to give out stress tests. The Prank Box interrupts this fake exam, along with others like the Hearing Test and Health Test, with a frightening sound and image. It’s a lot like the Maze Test, and a great way to get fired if you end up causing any heart attacks. [Store Link]

iJiggly-Bikini

Ogling breasts at the work place? Inappropriate. Ogling virtual breasts with iJiggly-Bikini? Plain creepy. Unless you work at a strip club, it’s best to stick with the app’s original jiggling Jell-O imagery when you need to blow off some steam. It’s still pretty weird, though. [Store Link]

iSteamy Porn App

Say what you want about the iJiggly Bikini, but if that won’t get you fired– this certainly will.  Turn your iPhone or iPod Touch into a super porn library– ensuring a speedy removal from your next business meeting, followed by your job.  Of course, Apple won’t support this app, so you’ll only be able to use it if your iPhone is jailbroken.  If it is, you’re on your way to the jobless abyss– ironically, you might be able to find work in the adult entertainment industry, being the face of the next film on the iSteamy app.  [Store Link]

Thanks for reading, GearCravers, Stumblers, Redditers and otherwise.  What did you think of our list?  Did we miss that killer job-ending app that you would have added here?  Let us know in the comments.  In the mean time, a stumble, a reddit or an email to a friend would make our day!  Why?  We just got busted with the iPhone Vibrating Massager on the clock…